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It's a Wonderful City or, Miracle On Spadina Avenue - The Annals of Young Geoffrey: Hope brings a turtle [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Young Geoffrey

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It's a Wonderful City or, Miracle On Spadina Avenue [Dec. 13th, 2006|06:41 pm]
Young Geoffrey
(Toronto - staff theosophy reporter)

Perhaps it was luck, perhaps it was a sign of the season or maybe, just maybe, Geoffrey Dow has someone or something loocking over him. For this evening, in Canada's bike-theft capital, Mr. Dow left his office and came face-to-face with what some would describe as nothing less than a miracle.

"You know that feeling you get when you've done something really stupid and only realize it at the same time you find out you've gotten away with it?" Mr. Dow asked. "Well, that's what I felt - in spades! - when I reached my bike tonight!"

As he usually did, he parked his bike at one of Toronto's ubiquitous O-Ring bike-racks, this one just south of Queen Street on the East side of Spadina.

Photo by Xavier Snelgrove, 2005-06-24,
taken from Wikepedia.

"I went into work," Mr. Dow explained, "having grabbed my napsack and - I thought - having locked my bike."

"So tonight," continued Mr. Dow, "I had shrugged off my napsack to turn on my rear light as I approached the machine. I noticed a woman walking hers in the opposite direction; she was going to use 'my' post. And that's when I saw it. My lock. Not, as it is supposed to be, wrapped around the frame and the front wheel, but sitting like some infant asleep in its baby-buggy, just resting in its cradle."

Mr. Dow said his heart skipped at least two beats. "My bike was out there for more than 8 hours!" he ejaculated. "I was thunderstruck! I couldn't believe my bike was still there! For a moment, I felt as if I must have some sort of guardian angel, watching over my bicycle, if not over me!"

However, when pressed on the issue, Mr. Dow refused to accept that the God or angel was involved in the preservation of his personal property.

"Be off!" he shouted at this reporter, shaking his fist and begining to lather about his muzzle. "This is a good city and I was lucky! Now leave me alone or I'll throw you into traffic!"

Discretion being sometimes the better half of even evangelical valour, this reporter said no more, but instead watched the degenerate atheist cycle off into the night and wondered at the Mystery that is God's Will.

- 30 -

[User Picture]From: lopukhov
2006-12-14 01:58 am (UTC)
EL-town must have been bike theft capital of Ahmurrcah, I'm convinced the university police must have stolen the bikes to be sent to Salvage, so that students can buy them.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-12-14 02:35 am (UTC)
I guess Michael Moore was right after all: Canadians don't commit crimes.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-12-14 05:47 am (UTC)

Michael Moore Should Frighten You *And* Your Philosophies!

You know what's worse? Everything that Michael Moore says is true. All of it! Noam Chompsky is an intellectual minnow compared to the shark that is Moore.

Young Geoffrey is kidding, damn it! (Though Moore has his place.)
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[User Picture]From: sabotabby
2006-12-14 03:34 pm (UTC)

Re: Michael Moore Should Frighten You *And* Your Philosophies!

Especially the bit where he says that The Esplanade is a Canadian ghetto and went around knocking on doors on Euclid.
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[User Picture]From: sooguy
2006-12-14 02:53 am (UTC)
Are you sure it's your bike? I mean perhaps the CIA swapped it with an IDENTICAL bike just to confuse you.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-12-17 07:16 pm (UTC)

You Bastard ...

I'm paranoid enough already; I really don't need to worry that my bike is a fucking plant for the CIA.

Now I'll have to kill it.
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[User Picture]From: rev_jo
2006-12-14 05:01 am (UTC)
yeah... that definitely wouldn't happen where i live....
the pole would be gone too...
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[User Picture]From: sabotabby
2006-12-14 03:33 pm (UTC)
*cracks up*

I'm glad your bike is safe.
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