Since none of you brilliant and beautiful women have left breathless messages on my cellphone or my inbox begging to spend the night tripping the light fantastic with me, I am reduced to to typing pointlessly as I await the arrival of my favourite misanthrope.
And so it behooves me to do something I never do: post a poll! I stole it from whatyouwant's journal, so she should get as much blame for this as I do (well, maybe 40%).
And so, if you care to, click the link to
1. A Cuddler?
2. A morning person?
I have become one; I used to be a bitch in the wee hours.
3. Are you a perfectionist?
No; I'm too lazy.
4. An only child?
No. 1 and 1/2 brothers.
No, but I learned to loathe the Catholic Church - and nuns in particular - at close quarters. Fortunately, I don't associate all Catholics with Soeur Cecille.
6. In your pajamas?
No pyjamas anymore. Maybe someday.
7. Currently suffering from a broken heart?
It's healing nicely, thank you.
8. Okay styling other people's hair?
Er, defnitely not.
9. Left handed?
10. Addicted to MySpace?
No, but sometimes it's fun to look at all the pretty girls looking their skankiest.
11. Shy around the opposite gender?
Not like I once was, thank god.
12. Bite your nails?
Occasionally, if the pesto is particularly fine that day.
13. Get paranoid at times?
Only when they are out to get me.
14. Currently regret something that you have said?
No, we dealt with it and things are fine. Thank you for asking.
15. Curse frequently when you get mad?
16. Enjoy country music?
Define "country music". Jesus. Who writes these fucking things? (See Question 15.)
17. Enjoy jazz music?
Some. Melodic, jamming jazz yes; atonal, music-sheet jazz, no.
18. Enjoy smoothies?
Occasionally. Is this really an interesting question to anyone? (No wonder I never post fucking memes!)
19. Enjoy talking on the phone?
Occasionally. Flirting with a new girl, or catching up with long-lost friends or relatives. Otherwise it's a tool to arrange something in person.
20. Have a lot to learn?
21. Have a pet?
You all love Chet, don't you?
23. Have all your grandparents?
No left. And my parents are in their 70s, so I'll be the "old" generation sooner than I'd like (if the lung cancer doesn't take me out of the game first).
24. Have at least one sibling?
Didn't we already deal with this? For fuck sakes, who - ah say - who writes these things?
25. Have been told that you are smart?
When aren't I told I'm smart. My brilliance is as obvious as a passenger jet flying into the World Trade Center.
26. Have had a broken bone?
27. Have Caller I.D. on your phone?
28. Changed a diaper?
Yes, far more than once. It's really not that hard.
29. Changed a lot personally over the past year?
Jesus, I hope so.
30. Had friends who have never seen your natural hair color?
Hair? I have hair?
31. Had surgery?
Yes. See my entries from February.
32. Killed another person?
33. Had your haircut within the last week?
Within the last two - but I did it myself.
34. Had the cops called on you?
LAST PERSON WHO:
1. Slept in your bed besides you?
2. Saw you cry?
Saw her cry? I've made her cry.
3. Went to the movies with you?
Laura. (I'm getting pissed off again.)
4. You went to the mall with?
5. You went to dinner with?
The lovely and very smart E.G.
6. You talked on the phone with?
Part of my work is on a help desk; don't ask.
7. Broke your heart?
I think we all know the answer to that one.
8. Made you laugh?
In person? See question 5, above.
DO YOU PREFER:
1. Flowers or candy?
Flowers, I guess; but I am pretty indifferent to either.
2. Grey or black?
Black. But why would anyone care? And grey can be nice too. Really, I'm a big fan of purple.
3. Color or Black and white photos?
Oi. Why am I doing this? It depends. Jesus.
4. Sunrise or sunset?
How about high fucking noon? And why isn't my weasel-like friend putting me out of this misery by buzzing me yet?
6. M&Ms or Skittles?
7. Staying up late or waking up early?
Whenever the person who wrote this fucking survey happens to be around, neck bared for a slicing, is fine by me. (Are any of you even still reading this? You are? Amazing!)
1. Do you like anyone?
"I love humanity. It's people I can't stand." What kind of an inane question is that? Jesus Jesus Jesus.
2. Do they know it? i hope so.
Oh. "Like" in the grade 9 sense of the word. No and no. But there are a couple of people I'd like to like.
DO YOU PREFER..
1. Sun or moon?
Of course I prefer the sun. Without the sun I wouldn't exist. Next idiot question. (SCK? A buzz would be really nice right about now. And to think I thought I was wasting my time on other nights. But I guess I've gone this far, I might as well finish.)
2. Winter or Fall?
What time is it?
3. Left or right?
The entire concept of a left/right political spectrum is ridiculously over-simplified.
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends?
Two best friends.
5. Sun or rain? depends on my mood/plans for the day.
Sun, except when I'm in the mood for rain. Mostly sun.
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
Chocolate. Chocolate frozen yogurt.
1. What time is it?
Geoffo/Geoffrey Dizzow/Young Geoffrey/Master of the Cock.
4. Where were you born?
5. What is your birthdate?
February 4, 1965.
6. What do you want?
So much and so little.
7. Where do you want to live?
Toronto. Montreal. A cabin on a lake in Northern Ontario. Not Ottawa.
8. How many kids do you want?
I don't know.
9. What would you want to name a girl?
Alicia, Amanda or Ashera.
10. What would you want to name a boy?
Marion (the Duke will rise again).
11. You want to get married?
Yes and no.
12. Nervous habits?
Falling to the floor and rolling, rolling, rolling; it has occasionally caused problems at job interviews.
13. Are you double jointed?
14. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes. And I can touch my nose with it as well (ladies, take note!).
15. Can you cross your eyes?
I think so. You tell me.
16. Do you make your bed daily?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
17. Which shoe goes on first?
I think the left, usually, but I haven't paid it much attention.
18. Ever thrown one at someone?
Only in jest.
20. What jewelry do you wear?
Earrings and a nose ring. I gave up the dog-collar for Lent and forgot to put it back on.
21. Do you twirl the spaghetti or cut it?
I smash spaghetti.
22. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?
Two, soon to be one.
23. What's your favorite beverage?
Milk and beer.
IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU?
1. Had a b/f or g/f?
2. Bought something you didn't need?
4. Sang in front of people?
Everyday. And yet my co-workers seem to like me anyway.
5. Been kissed?
No. (God damn it.)
6. Been hugged?
Yes. (God damn it.)
7. Felt stupid?
I'm doing this fucking survey aren't I? (Ah! He's arrived. Maybe there is a diety after all!)
8. Missed someone?
If by "missed" you mean wanted to puch her in the nose, then yes.
9. Gotten drunk?
11. Danced crazily?
Only Chet knows for sure.
12. Gotten your hair cut?
Haven't we already dealt with this?
14. Been hurt by a friend?