Young Geoffrey (ed_rex) wrote,
Young Geoffrey

One of the Reasons I Read Frank Magazine

For those interested in Canadian political, celebrity and journalistic maleficence, Frank Magazine is a must-read. Sometimes juvenile, badly-spell-checked and occasionally off with the facts, it has nevertheless survived a multitude of slander and libel suits by the likes of Brian Mulroney and up for many years.

And sometimes, it is just plain funny as hell.


Geez, things sure quiet these days without a war on. I mean a new one. Those things over in Iraq, Afghanistan and wherever are more what we'd call squimishes. Sure, we got some people dying, but don't even compare to fighting the Italians.

C'mon, let's get serious, people.

But that's the problem since the end of the Cold War: the bad guys just aren't so big and scary. Well, big: your average Russian stands a good six inches taller than an Arab (though that maybe on account of the posture). The Arabs can be crazy, in a batshit kinda way, but that's no competition for nukes aimed straight at your ass. At least it felt like they were.

Even Iran, they don't have a single bomb yet, and Mr Bush and them are getting set to make sure they never do. I think that's a mistake. Sthe States will never amount to anything this century if it keeps knocking the feet out from under every uppity enemy that comes its way. Sure, it's always satisfying to teach the Mohammedans who's boss (here's a hint: it ain't Mohammed), but Americans are just going to get fat and lazy knocking over all of these weiner countries. (I mean, fatter and lazier than normal.)

So skip Iran, Mr Bush, and start bombing China. It's the only sensible thing to do.

In Toronto, at least, you can find Frank even at a lot of corner stores. Okay, it's $5.00 for a newsprint magazine, but live a little!

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