Young Geoffrey (ed_rex) wrote,
Young Geoffrey
ed_rex

  • Mood:

Dear Servers of Toronto ...

I don't think I ask too much; and, if you harken to me, you will see that you will benefit from my advice at least as much as I.

When you step out onto your patio, or into a cozy corner of your restaurant or bar, look around. Beyond the table that is your immediate concern, lies one - and two, and many more! - around who sit your customers, eyes wide, hands raised, for your attention.

You may see empty glasses raised, refills going begging; or couples suddenly aware of theatre curfews in the offing. All are hungry for your service.

Raise your eyes, turn your head! Glance up and down the aisle. You have one order - why not make it two? You'll find it easier than denial; no zero-sum, the reverse in fact, will be your just reward.

You see, your attention makes me happy - rather than a lakeside summer relative, I'll feel instead a welcome guest. Longer will I likely stay and generous I'll be, within the limits of my loot.

And yet wait! for more there is than mere financial gain. For in looking 'round to catch my hungry eye, you save an extra trip (or two) to kitchen's oily flame. Happy now, I'll surely come again - and bring round friends and family.

Less work, more gold - nothing could be simpler! For me, there'll be sweet peace of mind and gratuities more generous. My sated body will feed my mind. I will remember my refuge and return, pleasant and easy-going, to the home away from home your attention has engendered.

Doubtless, I will return.
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