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Dear Servers of Toronto ... - The Annals of Young Geoffrey: Hope brings a turtle [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Young Geoffrey

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Dear Servers of Toronto ... [Aug. 8th, 2005|08:57 pm]
Young Geoffrey
[mood |drunkdrunk]

I don't think I ask too much; and, if you harken to me, you will see that you will benefit from my advice at least as much as I.

When you step out onto your patio, or into a cozy corner of your restaurant or bar, look around. Beyond the table that is your immediate concern, lies one - and two, and many more! - around who sit your customers, eyes wide, hands raised, for your attention.

You may see empty glasses raised, refills going begging; or couples suddenly aware of theatre curfews in the offing. All are hungry for your service.

Raise your eyes, turn your head! Glance up and down the aisle. You have one order - why not make it two? You'll find it easier than denial; no zero-sum, the reverse in fact, will be your just reward.

You see, your attention makes me happy - rather than a lakeside summer relative, I'll feel instead a welcome guest. Longer will I likely stay and generous I'll be, within the limits of my loot.

And yet wait! for more there is than mere financial gain. For in looking 'round to catch my hungry eye, you save an extra trip (or two) to kitchen's oily flame. Happy now, I'll surely come again - and bring round friends and family.

Less work, more gold - nothing could be simpler! For me, there'll be sweet peace of mind and gratuities more generous. My sated body will feed my mind. I will remember my refuge and return, pleasant and easy-going, to the home away from home your attention has engendered.

Doubtless, I will return.

[User Picture]From: karinablack
2005-08-09 04:08 pm (UTC)
I love your icon.

It's funny how many communities there are for service workers to bitch about customers, but so few for customers to bitch about poor service.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2005-08-09 09:14 pm (UTC)
I suppose it makes sense. After all, we (most of us) aren't customers 24 hours a day.
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[User Picture]From: deweyintoronto
2005-08-09 11:38 pm (UTC)

As a former server of Toronto

Oddly, back in the days when I was slinging drinks for a living, I always thought of it like being self-employed, i.e., the amount of money I took home with me was inversely proportional to my mood that day. When I started to think of it like that, I was ALWAYS in a good mood at work.

Let's face it, (and I don't mean to belittle those who bring me my drinks. I love you guys! I used to be one of you!), it's not rocket science. People who sit too long with an empty glass before them get pissed off and go to a place where the glass is ALWAYS half full. It's the drunkard's approach to optimism.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2005-08-10 12:36 am (UTC)

Re: As a former server of Toronto

It's not rocket science. I think that is what most baffles me about those servers who don't bother to look around once they've taken or delivered an order. It would make life so much easier for them to just glance up for a moment.

"A place where the glass is ALWAYS half full [is] the drunkard's approach to optimism." If I quote you, I promise to give you credit.
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[User Picture]From: offermeescape
2005-08-13 08:44 pm (UTC)
i never ever leave a tip if the service is bad. and i don't care if it hurts their ego. a tip is something that is *deserved*, not given. many bartenders/waiters/waitresses think they're obligated no matter what they do.

i agree with this post wholeheartedly. have a great road trip, my friend, and i'll see you on the flipside.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2005-08-14 05:20 pm (UTC)
The service has to be really bad for me to leave no tip at all. When I was younger, I occasionally left sarcastic tips - say, 4 pennies neatly arranged so as (I hoped) to indicate that I was not a thoughtless prick, but rather, that I had done it deliberately in response to their rudeness or utter incompetence.

In any event, we'll definitely have an evening on my return.
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