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Young Geoffrey

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One of the Reasons I Read Frank Magazine [Sep. 25th, 2006|07:27 pm]
Young Geoffrey
For those interested in Canadian political, celebrity and journalistic maleficence, Frank Magazine is a must-read. Sometimes juvenile, badly-spell-checked and occasionally off with the facts, it has nevertheless survived a multitude of slander and libel suits by the likes of Brian Mulroney and up for many years.

And sometimes, it is just plain funny as hell.

WHAT'S SO FUNNY 'BOUT BLOODLUST AND MISUNDERSTANDING?

Geez, things sure quiet these days without a war on. I mean a new one. Those things over in Iraq, Afghanistan and wherever are more what we'd call squimishes. Sure, we got some people dying, but don't even compare to fighting the Italians.

C'mon, let's get serious, people.

But that's the problem since the end of the Cold War: the bad guys just aren't so big and scary. Well, big: your average Russian stands a good six inches taller than an Arab (though that maybe on account of the posture). The Arabs can be crazy, in a batshit kinda way, but that's no competition for nukes aimed straight at your ass. At least it felt like they were.

Even Iran, they don't have a single bomb yet, and Mr Bush and them are getting set to make sure they never do. I think that's a mistake. Sthe States will never amount to anything this century if it keeps knocking the feet out from under every uppity enemy that comes its way. Sure, it's always satisfying to teach the Mohammedans who's boss (here's a hint: it ain't Mohammed), but Americans are just going to get fat and lazy knocking over all of these weiner countries. (I mean, fatter and lazier than normal.)

So skip Iran, Mr Bush, and start bombing China. It's the only sensible thing to do.


In Toronto, at least, you can find Frank even at a lot of corner stores. Okay, it's $5.00 for a newsprint magazine, but live a little!
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sabotabby
2006-09-26 12:32 am (UTC)
I'd forgotten how entertaining it was. The cover of the latest issue made me giggle, but I can't remember why, or what was on it.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-09-26 01:43 am (UTC)

It's Uncle Jack ...

... flashing a peace sign and decked out in a green bandana and other hippy paraphenalia, holding up a flowery, "Hell no We won't Go!" banner.
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[User Picture]From: thebitterguy
2006-09-27 01:26 am (UTC)
Was that an Ed Anger piece?
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-09-27 01:30 am (UTC)

Same Idea, Pretty Much

I've forgotten the author's real name (I think he released a book a year or so ago), but in Frank he goes under the moniker of "Dick Little".
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[User Picture]From: thebitterguy
2006-09-27 01:32 am (UTC)

Re: Same Idea, Pretty Much

Shit, yeah. Ed Anger was the guy from the World Weekly News. Dick Little is in Frank. My brain just crossed wires for a second there.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-09-27 01:36 am (UTC)

Re: Same Idea, Pretty Much

I picked up a copy of TWWN sometime during the summer of 2005 and was really disappointed to see they'd given up all pretence of being a "real newspaper". The indicia said something about satire and I gave it up for good (no more once every couple of years). It just wasn't funny any more, once I didn't have to wonder just what kind of people read it - and believe it was all true.
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