AGREED. There is nothing worse.
EGADS! You attempted to navigate the wilds of The Bay by yourself? Have you gone soft in the head? The Bay requires the skill of an advanced shopper. Once you've mastered The Bay, London, New York and Milan are your playground. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
You need start small. Perhaps Sherway Gardens if you're up for a trek. It's pricey, but soothing. And you're only going to dip a toe in the water. Maybe even Queen West shops if you can find something to your liking. Next, try Old Navy. Yes, yes, I know. Their "FASH" ad campaign IS so vile and insidious it serves as a repellent of sorts, but there are many, many deals and some truly comfortable, serviceable clothes.
Then, when you're comfortable with Old Navy, you can try The Bay again. Find the sale racks (near the elevators to Arcadian Court). They're less daunting for the uninitiated. If you can FIND a salesperson (and godspeed to you on this quest), ask them for help. The fitting room is your FRIEND (unless you are a woman and it is swimsuit season). Not sure if you're a S, M, or L? Grab one of each!
There are many women on your flist. Do not be afraid to seek our counsel. Some of us do, in fact, dream of shopping.
2006-08-25 03:18 am (UTC)
Sadly, you mistake my income for a token of my wealth. The last couple of years have been expensive ones, so my idea of a spree is limited to a couple of pairs of pants and shirts, and (maybe) a suit and a new pair of shoes.
Despite the many women on my friends' list, I think I am going to chew one giant mother of a wad of tabaccy and just do it myself.
I have occasionally managed to be a hunter; surely to god (or goddess) and I can make myself into a gatherer!
2006-08-24 03:36 am (UTC)
Dear Hypocritical Young Geoffrey
Isn't it true, sir, that you avoid - that you shun - those writers whose oevre is write about how dumb they, about their failed attempts to succeed at the most basic, everyday chores?
And now this! This ... travesty of "gentle humour", this abomination of all you hold dear in an informal essay.
Have you no shame, sir!
I agree with silkcorset and have little sympathy for you. :P
If you were a woman and had to shop, you would probably hang yourself after trying on 'your size' only to find out it is now too small and a quick gawk at yourself in the evil change room mirror. On top of that, if you are larger than a size five, good luck finding any clothing. These days, the industry only seem to cater to anorexic models.
Every time I go shopping, my self-esteem can usually be shoved into my small purse at the end of the day. It honestly is the biggest nightmare. Hence, I do all of my shopping online. I honestly do not even go into malls anymore. I cannot be bothered because I always come home depressed and empty-handed. Shopping is the devil; I am convinced.
I think my most memorable nightmare happened this year, shopping for panties. I must have been in there for about two hours. High cut, low cut, boy cut, French cut, full figured, thong, hipster, bikini, g-string, white, coloured, striped, lace, no lace, silk, cotton... what the hell? Just give me a damn piece of fabric that will cover what I need it to and be done with it! Don't even get me started on the bras. That was a whole separate trip that took me even more than two hours. Oh, and did you know that when I was buying socks, I had four isles to choose from?! Who the hell needs that many choices for undergarments?
Anyway... point being, it is much harder shopping as a female and I have absolutely no sympathy for males because they have it easy, as hard as it may be to believe.
*grows a penis*
youre right, shopping is the devil.
i've found i can not look at sizing anymore. its all differnt and with the popularity of child, prison, and illegal labour in the garment industry standards have plumeted. i have found that the worst was when the sadistic designers introduced low-rise pants, for one summer, i couldnt find any pants that had a high enough waist to cover my lower half. i understand fashion=sexy, but i am not a doll, i dont want to be excessorised, glamorized, stuffed into too tight clothing.
of course, this does little to deter people form adapting their own sense of style. in the past few months, ive seen too many women wearing all white, too tight clothing,their under-garments outlined for all to see. i used to avert my eyes, now i cringe, for many...many...reasons
Agreed! Every story follows suit when there is a trend and you cannot get away from it even if you despise it. Or if you do not have the right body type to carry off the trend well, too bad you for, right? It is so ridiculous. I do not think I have found one trend in the past ten years that I liked or wanted to wear. And for that same amount of time, women's clothing has become painted on. There are some of us left in this worl who do not want to look like whores. There are! It's amazing!
It is rare that I see a woman who is dressed properly and attractively. I see those same things you see and just shake my head. Is it honestly attractive to be wearing low-rise jeans with a thong hanging out? And oh, it's for the boys, is it? Well what kind of boys do you think you will be attracting with that kind of poor fashion? Honestly. Women amaze me. They dress this way and then question the negative attention they get from men? They may not deserve it, no one does, but don't be so silly as to question it when you are dressing the way you do.
I suppose we will just have to continue averting our eyes? Heh. Especially in summer... I dread summer and being packed in this city with women wearing dental floss.
what can i say...people are freaks
i dread forty years from now, because we'll be subjected to at least a handful of people who are senior citizens reliving their youth by ...dammit, i cant even say it...lets hope their children burn their clothing
2006-08-25 03:33 am (UTC)
Well, Ma'am ...
... I wasn't looking for sympathy - or even empathy. :)
For what it's worth, I am a short and less than slender man. Finding a pair of pants that fits my waist but doesn't leave my cuffs tripping up my feet isn't easy (though it can be done).
My point though, was that I just really hate the whole environment. My I should start shopping online. It's the process of shopping I dislike so much.
I know. I was just poking fun. :P
I am extremely short, on top of being full-figured (yay for me), and I have never, ever purchased a pair of pants that my grandma has not had to hem for me. She has honestly been hemming my pants for twenty-two years. Poor thing. I have no idea why there is no such thing as someone short and not thin, or someone tall and not thin, or someone short and thin. There is just tall and thin in the fashion/clothing industry. Am I the only one who finds this obscenely inconsiderate and disturbing? And this goes for both genders, not just females. I know males also have their fair share of clothing woes.
I agree about the process. I hate it. I hated shopping even as a teenage girl, and I hate it even more now. I swear by online shopping these days. I do leave the house, of course, but I just never go to malls. Keeps the blood pressure down!
You make a shopping trip to the Eaton Centre sound better than many novellas I've ever read. I admire that.
2006-08-25 03:15 am (UTC)
Ah Me, Oh My ...
Le purrr, le purrr.
2006-08-26 03:34 am (UTC)
Re: Ah Me, Oh My ...
Hehe, he/she is right!
But Geoff, Dawling, an Improperly Clothed Male is a Male Without a Rudder. Or something like that.
Get thee forsooth to: International Male! (http://frogstylebiscuit.com/index.php?articles_function=show_detail&name=articles&id=182)
Seriously, have you got a Mountain Equipment Co-op in Toronto? My bf shops there all the time. He loves the fact that they actually try to get stuff made in Canada, or the States.
2006-08-26 05:58 pm (UTC)
Re: Ah Me, Oh My ...
2006-08-26 09:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Ah Me, Oh My ...
What do you mean "shudder"? You don't like 4 piece pink pimp suits?! Or MEC?!
2006-08-26 09:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Ah Me, Oh My ...
Er, let's just say it's not really me. Now if it came in purple ...