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Random Thoughts On a Sunday Afternoon When I Should Be Outside - The Annals of Young Geoffrey: Hope brings a turtle [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Young Geoffrey

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Random Thoughts On a Sunday Afternoon When I Should Be Outside [Aug. 13th, 2006|03:53 pm]
Young Geoffrey
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I'd like to think this entry will be incisive and infinitely fascinating to you folks, but that doesn't seem likely - feel free (as though you wouldn't in any case) to just pass on by to the next entry on your friends' list.

I spent Friday at Toronto's beer fest with someone who I suspect does not want me to discuss her doings here, so I will not name names. Suffice it to say, much beer was imbibed and a little necking took place. Which I liked quite a lot, until she dug her teeth into my lip and wouldn't let go until I slapped her (not too hard, but meaningfully). Sadly, I fear we will have to be "just friends", as having pain inflicted upon me only makes me angry. It's true: I can dish it out, but I can't take it. And such are the sometimes frustrating ways of human sexuality.

Nevertheless, I had a lovely time and only got a little sun-burned. My only regret was when they herded us out, I lost track of my companions and was too drunk to lunk for them. Somehow, though, I made it home in one piece.

* * *


Laura's stereo, along with a milk-crate and a some odds-and-ends are still at my apartment. I've told her I will put them out in the hall if she doesn't pick them up by tomorrow, but I will probably prove myself a liar. Her remaining things don't take up a significant amount of space and I suppose I can just use her stereo until she (finally) manages to get it together to pick her things up.

She was supposed to come for them yesterday, but her ride fell through. She then emailed me to ask whether I'd like to join her for a pint, as she was going to be in the area. I declined, asking if she would manage to pick up her things tomorrow (today), then - perhaps to my discredit - sarcastically suggested it was unlikely, as I presumed being in my area meant partying at an after-hours club until 6:00 in the morning.

She told me I didn't need to be "such an asshole" and insisted she would come by around one this afternoon. As of 3:32, I haven't heard a peep; were we still together I would be worried, but as it is, well, I am not surprised.

That she still wants to hang out with me and, for that matter, to sleep with me, is flattering in one way, but insulting in another (and baffling in both ways). For at least 6 months, she was lying to me, cheating on me and (therefore) using me. Yet she doesn't seem to appreciate the fact I can't simply shrug my shoulders and take her back into my life (on whatever level). I don't know whether it is a lack of respect for me, or a simple lack of empathy, which prevents her from understanding that she wronged me and that I can't forgive her without some significant sign that she has changed.

And, constantly standing me up when it comes to getting her things doesn't suggest she's changed at all.

Ah well - life does go on, happily.

* * *


In order to actually dosomething about my intentions to not fall into a funk, I've signed up to, or reactivated, accounts at a number of online dating sites (not craigslist yet, but soon; maybe tonight). I've found some new chat-buddies, but have not yet had any actual dates. But it's early days and I'm enjoying myself with possibilities in any event.

(Meanwhile, I am shocked - shocked! - that - with one exception - none of you single, local women on my friends' list have seen fit to contact me with the possibility of carnal activity in mind. There's an email address on my profile, people! Feel free to use it - even if you don't think we're likely to experience that rare chemistry, we might at least enjoy sharing a pitcher or two.)

* * *


And what else. Not a great deal, I suppose. The apartment is finally clean, I've cut the dreads out of Chet's fur, and I hope to post the second draft of my new story, "Shall We Walk" to urbis.com some time this evening (I'll post a link when it's done, for those of you who might be interested).

I suppose that's about it. I've read stuff, I've watched stuff, and I'm not in the mood to talk about any of it just now.

Time to go to work!
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: rantipole6
2006-08-13 10:19 pm (UTC)
One of my dogs gets dreads on the fur around her butt if I don't brush it regularly. One of the many toils of pet ownership, I fear.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-13 10:22 pm (UTC)

Dreaded Pets

Yeah, I fear Chet was only one of the things I negelected during the first few weeks after the break-up. On the positive side of things, the grooming is some together-time he really enjoys ...
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[User Picture]From: amaaanda
2006-08-13 10:26 pm (UTC)
I am planning on contacting you for a pitcher once I get back from the wild wild west that is Keswick. No carnal activity, because I like to inflict pain upon my partners, and tsk tsk you can't take it.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-13 10:28 pm (UTC)

Dang.

It'll just have to be a pitcher, then. And when are you having that damned party?
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-14 01:16 am (UTC)
I'm not single, but wanted to recommend Okcupid as a dating site, since it's where I met my (six months running) current lovely.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-14 01:43 am (UTC)

Is It Free?

I've grown weary of pay-sites; the response-rate isn't any better, in my experience.

Congrats, by the way!
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-14 02:26 pm (UTC)

Re: Is It Free?

yes. Totally free. Though the usual online dating paradigms of men contacting women still apply, I think.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-15 03:25 am (UTC)

Re: Is It Free?

If i can find them. I've posted a profile, but the system has me baffled.

Once the alcohol has worn off, I'll probably figure it out.
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-15 04:54 am (UTC)

Try the tabs at the top

Well, the fun part is you get to answer questions and then they help you find people you'll probably like. Or, at least, who think they might like you.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-25 01:59 am (UTC)

Re: Try the tabs at the top

I'm getting to know it a little, but I'm not too impressed so far - seems too complicated, for dubious reasons.

But I should almost start taking the initiative ...
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-25 02:01 am (UTC)

dubious reasons?

Whatfor?
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-25 02:06 am (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

I'm just sceptical about their methedologies, in terms of "matching" people up. Don't trust the "science".

On an entirely different note, do you still have that copy of Catch-22? It has a certain sentimental value to me.
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-25 02:12 am (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

yep. I was waiting for the domestic situation to relax before bringing it up.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-25 03:04 am (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

That's a lovely excuse to meet for a drink, then (after more than 2 bloody years!). Do you still live in the Annex? I have this odd desire to return to whatever that place is called just south of the Future Bakery before it gets too cold for patios.
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-25 11:54 am (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

This sounds like a good idea. What's your schedule next week? Perhaps Monday?
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-25 08:40 pm (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

I think I can do Monday. Yes, why not?
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-25 08:43 pm (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

What time shall we meet then?
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-26 06:10 pm (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

You tell me; I'm free any time after 5:30.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-28 11:44 am (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

Ignore my earlier reply, things are not looking auspicious for tonight. Rain check?
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-28 12:13 pm (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

Fair enough. Will wait on you to tell me where and when.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-09-04 05:53 pm (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

I'm liquid again - some evening this week?
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-09-05 05:11 pm (UTC)

Re: dubious reasons?

I'm short on cash but free on time. Pick a spot and I'll be there.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-15 04:51 pm (UTC)
I wasn't going to say anything at the time, but your earlier descriptions of Laura's behavior -- her irresponsibility, exhibitionism and, uh, sometimes unconventional appearance -- made me think immediately of one of those chaotic, self-destructive teenage callers-in you hear on Loveline whose three uncles molested them simultaneously lo those many years ago and who, as a result, are condemned to act out for all eternity. Now that she's in the past (sort of) and you can get more of an objective perspective on her, do you think she actually does have anything in common with that sort of person? You know, the one whose "mode of self-expression" signfies deeper, scarier issues?

And, well, I'm not quite sure how to put this, but the readiness, willingness and ability to get involved with someone a generation older isn't always a sign of untainted normality. Now, I know that you yourself are no creep, but were you ever unsettled that your girlfriend was the type of teenager who would go out with a 40-year-old? I guess it's kind of like that old Woody Allen quote about never wanting to join a club that would have a person like as a member.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-18 05:36 pm (UTC)

Maybe So ...

I have some reason to think she's going through a self-destructive faze, but how serious it is - or even if it is - is very hard to say, since I really don't know when she's telling me the truth or not.

And, well, I'm not quite sure how to put this, but the readiness, willingness and ability to get involved with someone a generation older isn't always a sign of untainted normality.

Of course, neither is a readiness to get involved with someone a generation younger.

Now, I know that you yourself are no creep, but were you ever unsettled that your girlfriend was the type of teenager who would go out with a 40-year-old?

You don't know that I am no creep, but I take your meaning.

I found it strange, but not entirely out-of-the-question. There were certainly some older women with whom I would have happily shared a bed (and after that, who knows?) when I was 17.

When we were happy, I found it no so much unsettling, as I did surprising. Surprising that she wanted me and gratifying that I wanted her in return. For a long time, we seemed so right together that none of the tangible problematic differences seemed to matter.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-21 01:36 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

Young leftism, self-destruction... is there any phase of teen age that I didn't miss out on?
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-25 02:04 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

She likes Noam Chomsky (mind you: so do I), but she also reads The Economist, so she's not as leftist as all that.

Despite my what remains of my (o! so happily, rapidly, dwindling anger), I have to say you're jumping to quickly to stereotype. Laura may (or may not; I honestly don't know) be riding a fast train to self-destruction, but she's a pretty unusual person. Dismissing whatever she's doing as merely a "phase of teen age [angst?]" is too easy.

Though I say it myself, I would not have spent two and half years loving just any hot teenage girl who was willing to fuck me.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-25 02:50 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

So she gets some from the left, some from the center. Not a bad balance. Pile on the Wall Street Journal editorial page and she'll come out perfectly neutral.

I did mean a phase of teen age, because the idea of someone Laura's age shaking her own life apart now and again seems to be a tale as old as time. She doesn't seem so much angsty as, uh, weird. I don't mean that pejoratively, but it's all that comes to mind; if I ran into someone like her in class, I think my opinion would run along the lines of, "What's the deal with her, anyway?" And not because of the 40-year-old boyfriend. I've known girls who've had those; I don't consider it a total aberration in itself.

In any case, I've obviously just been going on the sometimes-sketchy picture you've drawn of her in your journal. Maybe it's just conjecture, my brain only semi-accurately attempting to fill in the gaps. Wouldn't be the first time.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-25 03:00 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

Did you delete and re-write, or did LJ's technology just hiccough? Well, whatever.

I'm from Canada, so I won't argue with you when you suggest The Economist is in the political centre. Our scale is different that yours.

She doesn't seem so much angsty as, uh, weird.

She is weird. That's why I liked her; more to the point, that's why she liked me.

Which is why I hesitate to blame our break-up on her age. It may be that I'm fooling myself, of course, but I think more of our problems had far more to do with who she than how old she is. Or so I like to believe.

And yes, you may have come across some of her comments, but it's important to keep in mind that a forum like livejournal is hideously one-sided.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-25 03:12 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

You wouldn't place The Economist in the center? I'm genuinely curious about that. I even know other Canadians that consider its social liberalism and economic conservatism to be textbook centrism.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-26 06:23 pm (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

I've been thinking about your question and find it strangely hard to answer.

I think it's because The Economist is so far to the "right" that it doesn't really fit in the traditional left/right spectrum at all. Really, this is a good illustration of why that spectrum is false in the first place.

I have on occasion toyed with extending the left/right line into a circle, with liberal democracy at the north pole and fascism/stalinism at the south, but that isn't much more satisfactory.

To answer your question, when I made the remark, I was thinking about the newspaper's economic and political stances far more than I was its social liberalism.

As for Canada, until recently even our Conservative Party would have fit quite comfortably in the middle of your Democrats (I would now place them on the left-wing of the Republicans, at least in so far as their public face is concerned).
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-29 01:24 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

But then why does the economics side of the equation outweigh the social side? It's a bit like saying that, well, if a car is two-wheel drive rather than four-wheel drive, it's practically zero-wheel drive.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-31 12:02 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

Because there is not a necessary correlation between neo-liberal economic policy and either liberal or conservative social policies.

However, there is a necessary correlation between neo-liberal economic policies and (therefore) political policies, and the resulting "collateral damage" done to the "losers" of dog-eat-dog capitalism.

I admire The Economist for its broad news coverage and for the fact that it does not pretend to be objective - it wears its politics proudly and good for it. But I disagree with its fundamental positions and I believe those governments that have (albeit never completely - and you could make the argument that I am wrong about The Economist because its ideas have never been put into practice) followed its advice have done more tangible harm than even the "war on drugs".
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-31 01:13 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

My curiosity is piqued. Which governments would you say have actually implemented Economist-approved policies? I'm having a hard time thinking of any government that would win the magazine's full approval; for every morsel of praise they give out, they seem to have at least a handful of stern warnings at the ready.

In recent memory, I think they've gone easiest on Finland, of all places. However, they're none too keen on the country's reliance on Nokia.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-09-04 05:55 pm (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

No government has, which was my point. Yet The Economist tends to support so-called free-trade policies &cetera, which benefit only (or almost only) capital, rather than labour - and "labour" means, "most of the people".

Mind you, it occurs to me the newspaper supports free trade in labour as well as capital, which may mean it's closer to the centre than I gave it credit for.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-09-04 07:43 pm (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

That it does; the sheer volume of complaining it's published about EU labor restrictions proposed and real is pretty astonishing itself.

And, hey, we mustn't forget good old Geoffrey Crowther's statement of intent: "It is to the Radicals that The Economist still likes to think of itself as belonging. The extreme centre is the paper's historical position."
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-09-04 07:58 pm (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

Space is running narrow, so I'll keep this brief - I'm still annoyed it not only supported the invasion of Iraq, but that it still thinks the war can be won (or did, the last time I checked; Laura made sure that magazine was aware of her new address - at least, it's stopped coming to my mailbox).

Hmm. I suppose I find it right-wing because it denies the existence of American/Western imperialism, prefering the mysth of "good intentions/mistakes were made" used to justify every US invasion of another country at least since Vietnam.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-09-05 05:13 pm (UTC)

Third post's the charm

Just crank up your display resolution. This discussion should still be as readable as a standard newspaper column a dozen comments form now.

The Economist's view on "Western imperialism" is tough to gauge. Thinking about it makes me realize, however, that one of my favorite aspects of the magazine's editorial stance is that it doesn't seem to care about motives or intentions. Results are what matter, and despite the ragging they've been doing on the execution of Iraq's occupation -- and they've been scathing lately -- the staff still accept the necessity of change in the Middle East, regardless of the regrettable fumbles thus far.

For more on motive- versus consequence-based judgment, check out the always-sober Arnold Kling's open letter to Paul Krugman.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-09-05 05:15 pm (UTC)
For some reason, that link isn't doing the job. Try this one.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-09-17 05:22 pm (UTC)

Krugman

I agree with Krugman's argument in general, but I think it falls down with respect to the invasion of Iraq.

I believe you can have a "type C" argument about the motives behind that invasion and that you - as an American citizen - should be having that discussion.

"It's now clear that the Iraq war was the mother of all bait-and-switch operations. Mr. Bush and his officials portrayed the invasion of Iraq as an urgent response to an imminent threat, and used war fever to win the midterm election."

Considering that the US war machine, while simultaneously losing in two ongoing coflicts, is gearing up to take on Iran, the above argument needs to be addressed, because if it is true (and I believe it is), your government is not only going to commit more crimes, it is going to also significantly weaken your own country.
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[User Picture]From: offermeescape
2006-08-16 12:45 am (UTC)
She definitely has not changed, man. And she won't. Keep that train rolling.. and welcome to singledom. ;)
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-18 05:36 pm (UTC)

Singledom ...

Thanks, but it ain't all it's cracked up to be.

The internet can be a slow and frustrating way to meet new women. But one perseveres ...
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