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Random Thoughts On a Sunday Afternoon When I Should Be Outside - The Annals of Young Geoffrey: Hope brings a turtle [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Young Geoffrey

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Random Thoughts On a Sunday Afternoon When I Should Be Outside [Aug. 13th, 2006|03:53 pm]
Young Geoffrey
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I'd like to think this entry will be incisive and infinitely fascinating to you folks, but that doesn't seem likely - feel free (as though you wouldn't in any case) to just pass on by to the next entry on your friends' list.

I spent Friday at Toronto's beer fest with someone who I suspect does not want me to discuss her doings here, so I will not name names. Suffice it to say, much beer was imbibed and a little necking took place. Which I liked quite a lot, until she dug her teeth into my lip and wouldn't let go until I slapped her (not too hard, but meaningfully). Sadly, I fear we will have to be "just friends", as having pain inflicted upon me only makes me angry. It's true: I can dish it out, but I can't take it. And such are the sometimes frustrating ways of human sexuality.

Nevertheless, I had a lovely time and only got a little sun-burned. My only regret was when they herded us out, I lost track of my companions and was too drunk to lunk for them. Somehow, though, I made it home in one piece.

* * *


Laura's stereo, along with a milk-crate and a some odds-and-ends are still at my apartment. I've told her I will put them out in the hall if she doesn't pick them up by tomorrow, but I will probably prove myself a liar. Her remaining things don't take up a significant amount of space and I suppose I can just use her stereo until she (finally) manages to get it together to pick her things up.

She was supposed to come for them yesterday, but her ride fell through. She then emailed me to ask whether I'd like to join her for a pint, as she was going to be in the area. I declined, asking if she would manage to pick up her things tomorrow (today), then - perhaps to my discredit - sarcastically suggested it was unlikely, as I presumed being in my area meant partying at an after-hours club until 6:00 in the morning.

She told me I didn't need to be "such an asshole" and insisted she would come by around one this afternoon. As of 3:32, I haven't heard a peep; were we still together I would be worried, but as it is, well, I am not surprised.

That she still wants to hang out with me and, for that matter, to sleep with me, is flattering in one way, but insulting in another (and baffling in both ways). For at least 6 months, she was lying to me, cheating on me and (therefore) using me. Yet she doesn't seem to appreciate the fact I can't simply shrug my shoulders and take her back into my life (on whatever level). I don't know whether it is a lack of respect for me, or a simple lack of empathy, which prevents her from understanding that she wronged me and that I can't forgive her without some significant sign that she has changed.

And, constantly standing me up when it comes to getting her things doesn't suggest she's changed at all.

Ah well - life does go on, happily.

* * *


In order to actually dosomething about my intentions to not fall into a funk, I've signed up to, or reactivated, accounts at a number of online dating sites (not craigslist yet, but soon; maybe tonight). I've found some new chat-buddies, but have not yet had any actual dates. But it's early days and I'm enjoying myself with possibilities in any event.

(Meanwhile, I am shocked - shocked! - that - with one exception - none of you single, local women on my friends' list have seen fit to contact me with the possibility of carnal activity in mind. There's an email address on my profile, people! Feel free to use it - even if you don't think we're likely to experience that rare chemistry, we might at least enjoy sharing a pitcher or two.)

* * *


And what else. Not a great deal, I suppose. The apartment is finally clean, I've cut the dreads out of Chet's fur, and I hope to post the second draft of my new story, "Shall We Walk" to urbis.com some time this evening (I'll post a link when it's done, for those of you who might be interested).

I suppose that's about it. I've read stuff, I've watched stuff, and I'm not in the mood to talk about any of it just now.

Time to go to work!
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: rantipole6
2006-08-13 10:19 pm (UTC)
One of my dogs gets dreads on the fur around her butt if I don't brush it regularly. One of the many toils of pet ownership, I fear.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-13 10:22 pm (UTC)

Dreaded Pets

Yeah, I fear Chet was only one of the things I negelected during the first few weeks after the break-up. On the positive side of things, the grooming is some together-time he really enjoys ...
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[User Picture]From: amaaanda
2006-08-13 10:26 pm (UTC)
I am planning on contacting you for a pitcher once I get back from the wild wild west that is Keswick. No carnal activity, because I like to inflict pain upon my partners, and tsk tsk you can't take it.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-13 10:28 pm (UTC)

Dang.

It'll just have to be a pitcher, then. And when are you having that damned party?
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-14 01:16 am (UTC)
I'm not single, but wanted to recommend Okcupid as a dating site, since it's where I met my (six months running) current lovely.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-14 01:43 am (UTC)

Is It Free?

I've grown weary of pay-sites; the response-rate isn't any better, in my experience.

Congrats, by the way!
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[User Picture]From: pbprincess
2006-08-14 02:26 pm (UTC)

Re: Is It Free?

yes. Totally free. Though the usual online dating paradigms of men contacting women still apply, I think.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-15 03:25 am (UTC)

Re: Is It Free?

If i can find them. I've posted a profile, but the system has me baffled.

Once the alcohol has worn off, I'll probably figure it out.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-15 04:51 pm (UTC)
I wasn't going to say anything at the time, but your earlier descriptions of Laura's behavior -- her irresponsibility, exhibitionism and, uh, sometimes unconventional appearance -- made me think immediately of one of those chaotic, self-destructive teenage callers-in you hear on Loveline whose three uncles molested them simultaneously lo those many years ago and who, as a result, are condemned to act out for all eternity. Now that she's in the past (sort of) and you can get more of an objective perspective on her, do you think she actually does have anything in common with that sort of person? You know, the one whose "mode of self-expression" signfies deeper, scarier issues?

And, well, I'm not quite sure how to put this, but the readiness, willingness and ability to get involved with someone a generation older isn't always a sign of untainted normality. Now, I know that you yourself are no creep, but were you ever unsettled that your girlfriend was the type of teenager who would go out with a 40-year-old? I guess it's kind of like that old Woody Allen quote about never wanting to join a club that would have a person like as a member.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-18 05:36 pm (UTC)

Maybe So ...

I have some reason to think she's going through a self-destructive faze, but how serious it is - or even if it is - is very hard to say, since I really don't know when she's telling me the truth or not.

And, well, I'm not quite sure how to put this, but the readiness, willingness and ability to get involved with someone a generation older isn't always a sign of untainted normality.

Of course, neither is a readiness to get involved with someone a generation younger.

Now, I know that you yourself are no creep, but were you ever unsettled that your girlfriend was the type of teenager who would go out with a 40-year-old?

You don't know that I am no creep, but I take your meaning.

I found it strange, but not entirely out-of-the-question. There were certainly some older women with whom I would have happily shared a bed (and after that, who knows?) when I was 17.

When we were happy, I found it no so much unsettling, as I did surprising. Surprising that she wanted me and gratifying that I wanted her in return. For a long time, we seemed so right together that none of the tangible problematic differences seemed to matter.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-21 01:36 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

Young leftism, self-destruction... is there any phase of teen age that I didn't miss out on?
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-25 02:04 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

She likes Noam Chomsky (mind you: so do I), but she also reads The Economist, so she's not as leftist as all that.

Despite my what remains of my (o! so happily, rapidly, dwindling anger), I have to say you're jumping to quickly to stereotype. Laura may (or may not; I honestly don't know) be riding a fast train to self-destruction, but she's a pretty unusual person. Dismissing whatever she's doing as merely a "phase of teen age [angst?]" is too easy.

Though I say it myself, I would not have spent two and half years loving just any hot teenage girl who was willing to fuck me.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2006-08-25 02:50 am (UTC)

Re: Maybe So ...

So she gets some from the left, some from the center. Not a bad balance. Pile on the Wall Street Journal editorial page and she'll come out perfectly neutral.

I did mean a phase of teen age, because the idea of someone Laura's age shaking her own life apart now and again seems to be a tale as old as time. She doesn't seem so much angsty as, uh, weird. I don't mean that pejoratively, but it's all that comes to mind; if I ran into someone like her in class, I think my opinion would run along the lines of, "What's the deal with her, anyway?" And not because of the 40-year-old boyfriend. I've known girls who've had those; I don't consider it a total aberration in itself.

In any case, I've obviously just been going on the sometimes-sketchy picture you've drawn of her in your journal. Maybe it's just conjecture, my brain only semi-accurately attempting to fill in the gaps. Wouldn't be the first time.
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[User Picture]From: offermeescape
2006-08-16 12:45 am (UTC)
She definitely has not changed, man. And she won't. Keep that train rolling.. and welcome to singledom. ;)
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-08-18 05:36 pm (UTC)

Singledom ...

Thanks, but it ain't all it's cracked up to be.

The internet can be a slow and frustrating way to meet new women. But one perseveres ...
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