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Young Geoffrey

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Reflections On a Beating [Feb. 8th, 2006|06:16 pm]
Young Geoffrey
My 42nd year has not begun auspiciously. 6 days after having my face pounded, the swelling has gone down and my vision returned to normal (in fact, both occurred, remarkably rapidly, over the course of Saturday). However, I can't say that I have entirely returned to normal.

Now, I'm not that good at interpreting my own feelings at the best of times; too often I believe what I would like to be true of myself rather than what is. Saturday was proof of that, as I told Laura one thing and found out that I meant something quite different only later on, leading to the all-too-familiar cycle of hurt and anger to which we periodically subject ourselves.

Add to that apparently cyclical relationship downtime the after-affects of having my head pounded bloody last Thursday and I have been understandably (I think) distracted and sometimes self-pitying. I don't much like either feeling, but they are there and I am better off facing them than pretending they don't exist.

Speaking of face and head, I spent Tuesday morning at the Toronto Western Hospital, where I underwent a CT scan and a very thorough examination by an intern whose demeanour showed me why it is so many women seem to find doctor's handsome. Dr. Kohly was friendly, professional and seemingly very competent. She showed flashes of both humour and impatience and she carries herself straight and tops herself off with a gorgeous shock of long, black hair. A very attractive combination - but then, I've long been proud of being aware (and unashamed) of my "feminine" side.

But I digress.

When I got in last night, there was a message from her waiting in my voicemail box. She left her pager number and asked me to call it as soon as possible. She wanted to discuss the CT scan results. Nothing to worry about, she said, "But don't blow your nose."

Naturally, this gave me pause. When she finally (finally!) called me back, she told me that I have a couple of fractures, that my eye and/or my eye-socket is a little sunken and that I may be facing surgery to repair the damage. If someone from "Plastic" doesn't call me by tomorrow to set up a consultation, I am to call her again so that she can arrange it.

And so that's where things stand.

I am remarkably pain free - I haven't taken so much as an aspirin since the attack - but am apparently relatively seriously damaged. I am without glasses and can't get them replaced for at least a couple of weeks because my "prescription might change during that time". And I do flash back to those thirty long seconds when I found myself, on my back, while someone very strong was pounding my face as hard as he could.

I don't feel traumatized, but it is hard not to wonder if I am in some kind of denial. Certainly, our popular culture would have it that I must be, that in fact I should be seeing some kind of counsellor or something.

And I do find it odd that I am feeling little or no anger about what happened. Laura wants to find the guy, other people have talked about tracking him down - but for what purpose? Well, I am considering the possibility of calling the police, but since I don't think I would even recognize him, I'm not sure there's much point - though Laura is sure that she would, as is our other companion that evening.

But still, it is odd that I am not angry. Or maybe not. Anger won't undo what happened; anger won't unsink my cheek, un-fracture my bones or fix my broken glasses. The best it might achieve is to get him put away for - what? - six months? Maybe less?

It seems a little strange to me, but I seem to be thinking of the incident almost as if it was a cosmic accident, as if I'd been clouted by a tiny meteorite, or a very heavy hailstone.

And I guess that's about all I have to say about it right now. Life goes on.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: redhotlips
2006-02-09 12:17 am (UTC)
Another thing to consider... having a police report on hand will help your inheritors, insurance company or hospital prove and determine injuries. Insurance companies in particular can be a real pain when it comes to paying out unless there's an adjustor's report, and the adjustor likes to see the police report.

You might find that you need an insurance claim in the event of surgery, a mess up in surgery, or in the event of further complications, or a change for the worse. OHIP covers less and less "plastics" work these days.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-02-09 01:17 am (UTC)

Oi. Insurance

Christ, you're probably right - about all of it. Thank you for the bad news.
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[User Picture]From: redhotlips
2006-02-09 04:19 am (UTC)

Re: Oi. Insurance

I'd say your welcome... but... is it proper to say such a thing, under the circumstances? :)

Best of luck
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-02-09 11:16 pm (UTC)

Re: Oi. Insurance

It's quite proper; better bad news than false news, I always say, or should. I'll mosey over to a police station and make a report, sooner rather than later.
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[User Picture]From: miyyu
2006-02-09 02:57 am (UTC)
I agree. Also, if this person thinks it's okay to do this to you, he will think it's okay to do it to others until he is deterred. Having the law on his ass may help, or at least will give him a criminal record in case, god forbid, he esclates from beating up people to worse. It might spare someone else some pain and heartache.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-02-09 11:17 pm (UTC)

Deterrence, Yes ...

You're right of course. Whether he can be found and identified is another question. "So-and-so, from Syracuse" isn't a lot to go on. Mind you, there were others there whose memories are better than mine.
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[User Picture]From: mollymolekular
2006-02-09 02:47 am (UTC)
Oh, MAN. That's so awful, I don't know what to say. The best I can do is tell you I'm wishing you the speediest recovery . . . oh yeah, and I'M pissed off, even if you're not.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-02-09 11:20 pm (UTC)

Thank You

These things happen, and it could have been a lot worse, even if I do end up having some kind of surgery. And I have at least been spared much in the way of pain - though I'm still not clear on how that can be, given at least two fractures.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-02-09 11:21 pm (UTC)

Doctor, Doctor ...

I don't think it's just the wealth. "Chicks" also (often) dig strength and power and, by definition, doctors have a certain kind of both qualities.
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[User Picture]From: carnivalnights
2006-02-11 06:24 am (UTC)

Re: Doctor, Doctor ...

Well, to back you up, I have never in my life been attracted to a man for his money. (Usually the ones with money are arrogant assholes. Why is that?) But I do dig strength, and power to a certain degree (more so with things like being assertive and achieving goals).
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[User Picture]From: offermeescape
2006-02-11 02:28 am (UTC)
I think you should still file a police report. What this guy did is a serious offense - aggravated assault. I hope that your body heals itself, but I do worry that you could have some sort of permanent damage from the beating. It sounds pretty serious.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-02-19 01:22 pm (UTC)

Calling the Cops ...

People keep telling me I should and I keep wondering, why bother?

But I probably will. Both Laura and her friend, M-C, were witnesses and could identify the guy, as could the waitress on duty that night, who told us on Thursday (yes, I've been back!) that she'd be willing to testify.
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[User Picture]From: carnivalnights
2006-02-11 06:22 am (UTC)
Although I am sometimes embarrassed by my own self-pity (which is plentiful), I would much rather face it than hide it. So I agree with you. These are normal, human feelings. There is nothing to be ashamed of or dislike.

I do not think I have ever found a doctor attractive. Most of them are rude, impatient and refuse to answer questions they are being asked because they are lazy assholes who apparently have better things to do than spend more than five minutes with a patient. But that's just my experience, maybe.

Glad you are feeling rather pain free now. At least that is some good news. If you feel you or Laura could identify him, I suppose there is no harm in calling the police... even if the chances they would catch him are slim. I personally do not think it is worth it for the very reasons you stated. I've been mugged, sexually assaulted... nothing ever happened to those people. No charges, no jail time, nothing. I've given up believing there is justice in this world.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2006-02-19 01:28 pm (UTC)

Self-Pity

Normal feelings they may be, but I still don't like 'em, at least in myself. I'd prefer to always act rationally (though, those who know me would likely laugh - and laugh, and laugh - at that claim.

I'm sorry to hear about your doctor experiences; by and large, my (quite limited) experiences have been pretty good (though, come to think of it, I had to get pretty harsh with a moronic physician who was in denial about a condition my mother had a few years back).

And Jesus, your experience with cops is simply appalling; I can certainly understand your lack of confidence in them, or in justice itself.
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