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Secrets and Lies (Oh Why Must It Always Be Secrets and Lies?!? - The Annals of Young Geoffrey: Hope brings a turtle [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Young Geoffrey

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Secrets and Lies (Oh Why Must It Always Be Secrets and Lies?!? [Oct. 6th, 2004|08:12 pm]
Young Geoffrey
The bombshell was no blonde, but no liar* looked so good as Laura did when she sauntered into my office, elegant and trashy in pink fishnets, a short, red skirt so tight you sould see her pores, a black t-shirt and leather jacket. Her ruby lips had "kiss me" all over them, her platforms were so high she tottered.

I played it cool. "I'll be a couple of minutes, babe. You just have a seat and read a magazine until I'm done."

Playing the good girl, she nodded and did as she was told.

And soon I was done. I swivelled round. "Let's go," I said. Laura leapt to attention. "I'll be gone a while," I told the blonde at the next desk. "Cover for me."

I didn't wait for an answer. I knew it would be "Yes".

I drank in the vision that stood before me, her lips trembling with anticipation. Her dark eyes glistened like broken glass on a dewy morning, her breath came in sharp, warm gusts, like a thermal inversion breaking up as an autumn storm floods in from the West; her breasts were draped in black, like a sculptor's masterpiece moments before the unveiling.

I took her arm in mine and walked her to the door.

Outside, I knew what she needed and I gave it to her. I threw her up against the wall and kissed her hard. I explored her body like a sailor returned at last from a long voyage revisits his favourite dockside pubs.

* * *


Ahem.

We did kiss outside my office door, then started down the hall, arm in arm. Turned a corner and I spotted something between the top of her ear and her scalp.

I stopped.

"What the hell is that?" I asked.

"What?" Laura wondered, genuinedly confused.

I pinched a slender tube, held like a carpenter's pencil nestled twixt flesh and hair. "Is this a cigarette?" I asked, hoping against hope it was a really well-tailored joint.

No such luck.

"Oh my god, I completely forgot about that!"

"It is a fucking cigarette!" I cried, torn between laughter and grief - with a rush of ugly irony coming up fast behind.

Laura admitted as much.

"How long have you been smoking?" I asked, my shock as real as the rising sun.

"A while," she said.

"How LONG?"

She hesitated, then said, "Since before we went to Sudbury."

Gentle Reader, I was dumbstruck (for a moment, perhaps two). During our first phone-call, after a half-dozen emails between us, Laura had asked if I smoked.

I admitted as much.

"Minus 10 points!" she shouted into my ear. (Though, clearly, my score was high enough she was willing to meet me. The rest, of course, is history-in-the-making.)

Since that time, she has badgered me, begged me, to quit smoking.**

When we went to Sudbury, I'd quit, in large part in hopes of pleasing Laura.

"Since before Sudbury," I whispered, and shook my head, as if that might fling those words like drops of water after a bath. "Since before Sudbury! And you've had the nerve to lecture me about it?!?"

Well hell, Gentle Reader, what could I do?

We went out back and cuddled and kissed, and we both had a fucking cigarette.

Before that - and during. And after - of course, I tried to lecture her, tried to plead with her, to quit now, while she still can. But my soapbox is a matted mound of soaked cardboard and my words, I fear had little effect.

Suddenly, I remember being 17, when I took up the vile weed.

I enjoyed it. Liked the taste (as strange as that may seem) and loved the process. Holding that cylinder, taking in the smoke and (yes!) blowing it out again.

Like Laura, I knew it was bad for me. Had lectured my father*** for years about the dangers of nicotine. But I did it anyway ... And look at me now, in thrall to the most loathsome corporations this side of Haliburton Inc.

Welcome to Cancer Country, baby. "We will [both] go together when we go."

(I love you anyway.)




*"Not technically a liar; you never asked." - Laura
**Well, "badgered" and "begged" are exagerations. My Laura is as far from a nag as a coelocanth is from a giraffe.
***Who's been smoke-free for a couple of decades now - there is yet hope for both of us, my sweet.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: serpentrose
2004-10-06 07:53 pm (UTC)
I keep trying to get my mom to quit the damn things. I don't bother lecturing her, I just say "Standard anti-smoking lecture"
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-07 04:55 pm (UTC)
Yeah, lectures don't seem to do much good.

When I last fell off the wagon, I was going through a bit of drama with my (wonderful) girl-friend; then my father called and, in his well-intentioned but jack-boot manner, he suggested I would be better off quitting.

Suddenly, I really needed a smoke.
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[User Picture]From: serpentrose
2004-10-07 04:58 pm (UTC)
Damn that reverse psychology!

It is sooo irritating when you want to do something, then someone pisses you off so you act differently to piss them off. Or when you've changed your mind on something, but you're in "stubborn mode" so you pretend you haven't.

Heh, I come from a long line of stubborn mule-women.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-07 05:05 pm (UTC)
That reverse psychology - when you're playing it on yourself - is a bloody ironic little bastard, isn't it?

God bless the self-destructive impulse. (I don't mean that. My addictive self just used my Dad as an excuse to convince me to crumble.)

You should be stubborn enough to quit (again).

Quoth the man whose ashtray is the source of a filthy plume of smoke as he types.
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[User Picture]From: serpentrose
2004-10-07 05:07 pm (UTC)
My mom always told us not to start. Only one of us smokes, I guess Two Out of Three Aint Bad.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-07 05:13 pm (UTC)
Not too bad, no. And at your age, you're unlikely to start now.
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[User Picture]From: serpentrose
2004-10-07 05:15 pm (UTC)
Well, I almost started another bad habit.

And I just had a thought: Why isn't it thought of as smoking if the plant isn't tobbaco?
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-07 05:32 pm (UTC)
The effects are different. I just came off a 3-week pot-fast, didn't miss it at all. Take away my tobacco for 3 days and I turn into a pathetic, bitchy neurotic (just ask Laura).
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[User Picture]From: serpentrose
2004-10-07 05:36 pm (UTC)
That's true. Most people I've talked to about it consider tobbacco use to be as bad as, or worse than, pot use.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-09 02:12 pm (UTC)
As someone who's done both, I can vouch for that. When I have pot around I smoke it somewhat compulsively; when it's not there, I barely think about it. When I'm 6 hours without a cigarette, though, that's about all I can think of.

Also, tobacco doesn't have the benefit of being significantly psychoactive; in other words, it has no good qualities that might, if only arguably, balance the bad.
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[User Picture]From: serpentrose
2004-10-09 02:39 pm (UTC)
I've only done the pot, and then only when someone offered to share.
I got really scared off of even trying tobacco when I worked with someone who coulnd't go two hours without a cigarette.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-10 05:51 am (UTC)
To reiterate: tobacco is a drug with no redeeming virtues. Keep staying away from it, please!
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From: patriarch420
2004-10-07 05:46 pm (UTC)
* seconds that comment on the "pathetic, bitch neurotic" comment :) ((it was a good learning experience though)) sleep sweet darling
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-09 02:12 pm (UTC)
I can't wait 'till you put me through it, darlin'.

Sigh ...
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From: dilvalicious
2004-10-07 06:47 am (UTC)
I hate how I quit for 2 years, and smoke again...but not nearly as much as Mike hates it.

I will quit again, but I have too many things I am trying to deal with right now, I can only focus on one at a time...and my weight is more an issue to me than my smoking...although I do notice the phlegm is back *sigh*

And i cough more
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-07 04:58 pm (UTC)
I hate how you started after 2 years also - it reminds me that one is never completely safe.

As for weight being an issue, that's a lovely (in the ironic sense) example of we, as human beings, are much more likely to pay attention to immediate things that don't much matter (e.g., a few extra pounds) than we are to abstract consequences (e.g., lung/liver/mouth/throat/breast/etc cancer, emphysema, et fucking al).

I'm reminded of an early song by The Who, all about a kid whom everyone mocked for being tubby. Come the final verse, he was still alive, they were all dead of cancer.

*sigh* indeed. (puff. puff.)
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From: dilvalicious
2004-10-07 05:21 pm (UTC)
yeah...i know

=(

I am gonna go back to looking at the hypnosis
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-07 05:33 pm (UTC)
I've been thinking about that (a co-worker's wife just did it - mind you, she was a 2 or 3 cigarettes a day woman). Let us know how it pans out.
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From: dilvalicious
2004-10-07 05:38 pm (UTC)
well, if you want the link, it is a visual online hypnosis thing I found...i just gotta find it again (i have it saved on my computer, bur can't link you to it)

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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-09 02:13 pm (UTC)
Don't go rummaging for it, but if/when you come across, I'd appreciate it if you'd send it my way. Who knows? It might be the arrow in my quiver that I'll need when the time comes.
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From: dilvalicious
2004-10-09 02:17 pm (UTC)
yeah, I need to use it more myself

ahhh...found it!

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/1047/hypnos.htm
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-09 02:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I've bookmarked it. If and/or when I try it, I'll be sure to let you know the results.
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From: dilvalicious
2004-10-09 02:31 pm (UTC)
cool. I like the second one better than the first...I am going to start using it again every night for about 10 minutes
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From: patriarch420
2004-10-07 02:17 pm (UTC)
That first bit was **great**. It certainly meets my approval . . . uhmm . . . and yes that was nicely narrated despite my being only slightly embarassed at my intense stench of hypocrasy. ermm yes. call me @ home this evening if you can ... what are you up to tomorrow? did you want to do something ?
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-07 05:14 pm (UTC)
Besides the obvious? Yes, I'd like to something, my darling.
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[User Picture]From: amaaanda
2004-10-07 11:35 pm (UTC)
Don't tell me you're going to start again!!!

Laura - shame on you! Bad girl!
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From: patriarch420
2004-10-10 12:28 pm (UTC)
im sorry:( and he started again looong ago . . .

It's all apart of my plan, i swear :) and it's *mango tobacco* ... not half the chemicals as is a cigarette... and i roll it myself so if im too lazy i won't smoke..and..erm...i'll stop trying to justify it before geoff kicks my ass

happy thanksgiving ! :)

-laura
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From: patriarch420
2004-10-11 10:21 am (UTC)
good afternoon sweet pea...

i hope you got out to hockey and enjoyed yourself! :)

talk to you later one (maybe)

*kiss lix*

love,

laura
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-10-11 11:20 am (UTC)
I managed it, sweetie. Had a great time, but I'll be paying for it for the next few days.

I'm glad you had me over yesterday; I enjoyed myself (and not just because I got a little extra time with you!).

Kisses right back at'cha.
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