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"Tomorrow Is Another Day!" or, Memo to Laura - The Annals of Young Geoffrey: Hope brings a turtle [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Young Geoffrey

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"Tomorrow Is Another Day!" or, Memo to Laura [Aug. 6th, 2004|08:02 pm]
Young Geoffrey
[music |The Beatles, Abbey Road]

Fuck it ...

I quit.

Yesterday, as I ran to my office to "sneak" (she knew what I was doing) a cigarette, Laura followed me and cracked wise about my habit. I responded with vague promises to look into quitting sometime in the indefinite future, acknowledging the fact that smoking is bad for me, but bragging (irrelevantly, really) that my gums are in great shape and that I have never had a cavity. (That's right, bitches: Never!)

But I faced my trump.

"I don't want you to die of cancer!" Laura exclaimed, shattering my excuses like the frames of so many pairs of drug-store sunglasses knocked off a desk by a nervy cat.

And I thought: Maybe I don't want to continue inhaling (and absorbing) such charming toxins as carbon monoxide, and formaldehyde (formaldehyde!?!>, hydrogen cyanide (cyanide!?!) and benzine - not to mention ye olde tar and nicotine - which I have (more or less voluntarily sucked back like a baby at its mother's teat for the past 22 or so years.

Laura's words - and her tone (not nagging, but selfishly caring) - have been echoing through my addict's head like an inertialess billiard-ball on frictionless felt for the past 24 hours.

And so, my love ...

And so ...

I quit.

Tonight, I'll smoke my brains out, one cigarette after another, like a castaway setting afire his last remaining bundle of faggots when a plane flies over.

Tomorrow ...

Tomorrow, I'll stagger awake (yes, I'm drinking now) and ignore the change in my purse, refuse the call of the corner store, and likely light a bowl before noon.

But no tobacco.

I am too selfish to want to risk dying on you. I won't do without the joy of your company before God genetics or a random SUV strikes me down.

I quit.

Laura, I'm going to be bitchy; I'm going to chew gum like Homer chews donuts; I'm going to drink like the proverbial fish for the first week or so; and I'll probably ask for your help, your support. I won't like it. I don't like inflicting my weakness on others.

But I love you and I don't want to die on you.

I quit.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: comedypixie
2004-08-06 05:40 pm (UTC)
congrats dude! i've quit twice and still feeling the itch....good luck!!!!
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-07 01:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks man - I've quit a few times myself, so I know how that itch (not to mention the little rat-bastard in the back of your head - you know, the one who starts whispering, around day-3, "You've beaten it! So why not celebrate and just have one?") will stick around, teasing and taunting and lying to you.

How long have you been clean?
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[User Picture]From: comedypixie
2004-08-08 12:30 pm (UTC)
off and on for about a year...it was easier b4 the smoking ban....and a lot of emotional stuff and stress is going down...so i'll have the odd one but they feel like nothing b/c i used to smoke jps...so any regular belmont or du maurir is like...ew...i'm smoking air...so theres not point
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-09 02:58 am (UTC)
Doubt I'm telling you anything you don't know, but having "the odd" on was, in my experience, the beginning of the end. Be careful, eh?
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[User Picture]From: comedypixie
2004-08-10 09:27 am (UTC)
yeah totally....i'm staying as far away from smoking as i can but ihave one friend who'll just offer me, like he's trying to get me to smoke again but he wants to quit so....
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From: 10021
2004-08-06 05:59 pm (UTC)
WOW! Good luck, this is truly a wonderful thing you're doing for love.

Also, KHANNNNNNNNNN!
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-07 01:13 pm (UTC)
I'm really doing it for me - but love is getting me off my ass to do it "today" instead of the Red Queen's "tomorrow".

Also, "Minutes will seem like hours."
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[User Picture]From: viewpoints
2004-08-06 06:58 pm (UTC)
My father almost died from the cancerous tumor in his neck he recieved from his habitual pack a day. By the time they could remove it it was the size of a baseball, and pure luck lept it from spreading. My mother faces her third biopsy this month to hope that her lungs aren't going to liquify in the next year. Both stopped smoking as of three years ago and the effects still attack them today.
You can give this Laura no bigger gift than to quit. And you do yourself one hell of a favour by doing so.
It's as hard as hell, but it's worth it. Good luck.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-07 01:17 pm (UTC)
Jesus - your dad was lucky as hell; I hope your mother shares it. Thanks for the kind wishes; I hope that a month down the line I'll still be living up to them.
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From: patriarch420
2004-08-06 08:16 pm (UTC)

THANK YOU!!!!!

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!! ((and you know i'll be here for you...whether you're whiney as all hell or not.))
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-07 01:19 pm (UTC)

Re: THANK YOU!!!!!

You did say something about wanting to see me at my worst, didn't you?
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[User Picture]From: saoilsinn
2004-08-07 08:21 am (UTC)
I dropped the smoking last year, after smoking over half my life. Yup. Started early. Whenever I wanted a smoke I'd ask myself if I had the balls to stick to anything in life. If I had any courage at all. Did I even Like myself? If I really wanted to spread the poison through my body, my mind. Did I really want to spinelessly commit suicide, taking years and years to do myself in? Melodramamtic, but highly effective! :) Good luck to you. Remember to try whatever works best for you. I found not talking about it very handy. If anyone asked I'd just say "Oh, I'm not smoking at the moment." Suddenly it was months and months later and no cigarettes. Holy Rant...Anyway --I'm here with support if you need it.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-07 01:22 pm (UTC)
I tried that "I'm not smoking right now" during what may have been my most succesful attempt (was it 2 and a half months? Something like that) - I liked it for the fact it didn't impose the kind of pressure that this, my current</i>, public method does.

In any case, I think I'm going to print out those questions of yours and carry them around in my wallet.

I really don't want to die - ever, let alone a decade or two or three prematurely.
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[User Picture]From: saoilsinn
2004-08-07 03:43 pm (UTC)
I really don't want to die - ever, let alone a decade or two or three prematurely.

Yes. Fucking "mortality" gets me every time.

Good luck darlin.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-08 07:00 am (UTC)
Thank you.

And "they" really ought to do something about that bastard, mortality.
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[User Picture]From: amaaanda
2004-08-07 07:03 pm (UTC)
I have never had a cavity either.

And truly, good luck with the quitting smoking. It is a fucking hard thing to do. My big advice is whenever you are absolutely holyshitIwanttofuckingkilltheworld craving a cig, have a puff, then out it. But only when you are very very near your breaking point.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-08 07:00 am (UTC)
I have never had a civity either.

I'd suggest we start a club, but we'd best keep it awfully damned secret if we do. I'm sure you've noticed that not everyone appreciates our virtue good fortune.

As for your advice, I fear that would be the worst thing I could do - once I start, I am not good at stopping.
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[User Picture]From: amaaanda
2004-08-08 08:38 am (UTC)
To each his own - with me, if I just went cold turkey, I would slowly become insane, culminating with me sitting in the corner chain smoking an entire carton and reading some Tolstoy or something.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-08 09:18 am (UTC)
"Tolstoy" ... *shudder*
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From: patriarch420
2004-08-08 07:25 am (UTC)
**injects liquid sugar into your gums**

That should do the trick!

Muahahaahahah...ha...ha...ha.

damn you and your perfect little so called "teeth"

-laura-
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[User Picture]From: amaaanda
2004-08-08 08:39 am (UTC)
If it makes you feel better, my front tooth is fake because once when I was drinking someone hit my elbow and sent the bottle through it.

So not technically perfect. Close though. Closer than you. Haha. Sucker...
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2004-08-09 02:59 am (UTC)
Jesus, that's horrible.

(Though you have to admit there's a little irony there, too.)

*shudder*
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