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Young Geoffrey

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Young Geoffrey Looks for Love (redux) [Dec. 19th, 2007|12:47 am]
Young Geoffrey
I come to you, Gentle Readers, for help. My previous advertisment on Plentyoffish.com has failed to introduce me to the slutty yet loyal woman of my desire. I have, thus, re-written said profile, as follows.

I have no sense of honour, humanity or humour. I abuse cats, dogs and small children. If I write to you, your best bet will be to just ignore me; otherwise, I'll never cease to dog your door.

When not wasting time bothering strangers on dating sites, I read, write and steal Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica videos from torrent sites.

Is it be any wonder I live in Parkdale or ride a bicycle rather than drive a car?

I like my women young, full-breasted, braless, short-skirted and stupid. If you think for yourself, believe that "no means no" or that Steven Harper is a fascist in short pants, just pass this add on by.

If you live for Kraft Dinner, dote on soap-operas and long to be treated as a sex-object, we should talk. Please be between the ages of 18-19, stand at least 5'10" and weigh no more than 105 pounds.


Now, I think that's gold - what woman could resist? But, I've been wrong before. What do you think?

Poll #1108425 Right Track or Wrong Track?

Will This Ad Find Young Geoffrey In a Crowded Bed By New Year's Eve?

Oh! Fer shur!
2(12.5%)
Maybe, if he has a couple of hundred bucks in small bills
1(6.2%)
There are a lot of confused and lonely women out there
4(25.0%)
Not a chance
2(12.5%)
At least you didn't mention the Grateful Dead or Lord of the Rings
7(43.8%)
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: casualsexcapade
2007-12-19 01:38 pm (UTC)
my ex changed his POF profile to something similar - he is now in a relationship with someone he met with the new *improved* profile.

ha!

good luck to you!
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2007-12-24 06:40 pm (UTC)

I'll Need It But Thanks

I'll probably re-work it over the next few days while "celebrating" the birth of Our Saviour.
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[User Picture]From: glowingwhispers
2007-12-19 04:30 pm (UTC)
I used to work at lavalife.com policing the site. By it's rules, this ad would get rejected for being too negative. Following your lead, I'll post my own ad in my journal and invite feedback.

Oh, and just in case you're interested, I find your blurb a turn off. :)
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2007-12-24 06:43 pm (UTC)

Aw Well, Back to the 'Ol Drawing Board

I used to work in the same building that Lavalife is (or was) in, at King and Strachan. I sometimes contemplated popping in to buy some time, but never did - I always took too long to reply to ads there. Come to think of it, I probably take too long to reply to adds everywhere else, too.
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[User Picture]From: jade_noir
2007-12-19 09:06 pm (UTC)
Well I can't say that I would go for that kind of an add. Even though it is sarcastic, I understand that there is always so truth in sarcasm.
However, the one thing I wouldn't take out would be the interest in Battlestar Galactica. That sort of thing always catches my eye. I only know one person my age who likes BSG and that person is one of my best friends. We became good friends after we admitted that we were both obsessed.

My sister and I were just having fun putting up a roomate-needed add. She said was completely honest and therefore sounded sort of weird and I don't know if anyone will want to room with her: She mentioned her car getting taken away from her for excessive speeding and the fact that she's always worried and how she likes to make fun of herself and how she likes Euro-hop.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2007-12-24 06:49 pm (UTC)

BSG! BSG!

The consensus definitely seems to be the ad is not a winner.

As for BSG, I've just watched the 3rd season and am completely blown away by the depth of characterization, the moral complexity, the reversals of expectations, the ... well, of everything. Television seems finally to have come of age, producing Great Art. I'm going to be trying Deadwood next.

My sister and I were just having fun putting up a roomate-needed add.

That reminds me of something I did a dozen years ago or so. I'd seen a room in a shared house and I really wanted it. The next day I produced a pamphlet extolling the virtues of "Wonder Room-mate" and snuck it into their mailbox that night.

It worked and I moved in shortly thereafter. Sadly, they were not the room-mates I'd hoped for and I left after only a couple of months, having torn one their doors off its hinges in a rage. But that's another story.
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[User Picture]From: colinmarshall
2007-12-19 10:38 pm (UTC)
I can't help but picture a woman interpreting it literally.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2007-12-24 06:50 pm (UTC)

Apparently Not

Judging from those women who've replied here, the sarcasm was apparent, if not appealing.
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[User Picture]From: deweyintoronto
2007-12-19 11:12 pm (UTC)
Hmmm... I'm not convinced that everyone will get the joke. Self-deprecating and witty are charms that come across best in a one-on-one setting.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2007-12-24 06:54 pm (UTC)

Getting the Joke

At least folks here seem to get it. Appreciating it is another matter.
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[User Picture]From: liketoxicwaste
2007-12-20 12:27 am (UTC)
Let's Get MARRIED! :D:D:D:DD::D:LAMFl;kansmgo4p3jyh;sdnh

no.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2007-12-24 06:55 pm (UTC)

A Confession

That book we talked about the other night didn't actually get into the mail until this morning. My apologies.
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[User Picture]From: amaaanda
2007-12-20 05:58 pm (UTC)
It's funny, but it's meh. I know you're looking for someone who can actually understand sarcasm, but a bit more info about you would probably be needed to draw me in. And a bit more hyperbole, so that it's obvious you're looking for the opposite of what you're saying.
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[User Picture]From: ed_rex
2007-12-24 06:57 pm (UTC)

More Hyperbole, Eh?

Able to carry 48 beers on his bicycle! Can smoke 2 packs in 1 night! Will ... oh, never mind. Merry Christmas.
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